• Bram Pyre

That Old Vampire Magic: Dark Chocolate


Mortals are always asking me, “Bram, how can I achieve immortality, like you?” If I’m not feeling peckish (in which case, I’m afraid, longevity is no longer something they need be concerned with), I’ll share with them some secrets to long life that I’ve picked up over the past few centuries.


It all starts with diet. Beyond mere vitamins and minerals, certain foods actually serve as antioxidants and anti-inflammatories, and can have other powerful wellness benefits, as well.


Mushrooms, for instance, are a wonderful source of nutrition, and have been used medicinally for thousands of years. Cordyceps, chaga, and lion’s mane are just a few of the many mushrooms that belong to a group of substances we call adaptogens, which help to ease stress on the mind and body. Mushrooms like maitake and turkey tail have potent immune benefits, as well.


Cruciferous vegetables, well, first and foremost have nothing to do with crucifixes — which is a huge relief, let me tell you! But broccoli, cauliflower, kale, and other such veggies do deliver massive detox properties and can even help prevent heart disease. (If only they could prevent stakes ...)


My old nemesis Hades was a huge fan of pomegranates, and for good reason. Besides having delivered the lovely Persephone to him, these fruits are also chock full of a phytochemical called punicalagin. Studies on this antioxidant substance reveal massive benefits for the heart and brain. It’s even supposed to help improve your memory. All of that said, if old Hades happens to offer you a few pomegranate seeds, it’s best to politely pass.


All of these foods are well and good, but my mortal friends tell me there’s no superfood as sweet and tempting as dark chocolate. This healthiest member of the cocoa food family has a slew of wellness benefits, and has been shown in studies to reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, and type 2 diabetes. Studies have also shown that it can have beneficial effects on the parts of the brain responsible for memory and learning. And it should probably come as no shock that dark chocolate has mood-elevating capabilities.


You can certainly count on a big and cheerful mood boost when you indulge in our Vampire Fine Belgian Dark Chocolate. These sensuous bars are a delight to the senses, and have an ideal cocoa content of 60%. Our dark, devilish delights come individually wrapped in a box of 25 — perfect for sharing!